Life on the Vine

Have you ever felt like you peaked 15 years ago? You had a clear purpose. All the circumstances in that particular year made you ripe for the picking. You were rare and expensive. And like any fine wine deserves to be, someone drank you when you were perfectly aged. And ENJOYED the fuck out of you. Literally. 

Maybe several people basked in your company and marveled at your deep color, enticing aroma, flavor complexity, and dripping legs.


Nothing has really changed. Except you have gotten older. You are still charming and funny and generous and make people feel at home. But you FEEL different. Less everything. Somehow as the years passed, you became comfortable with stagnation, instead of fighting for the priorities you once prized. Your career, friends, and social life haven’t developed with each day and year like wine does. No more compounding and dissolving. No growth up the vine or in the bottle. Just. Life. Without the expensive price tag.


Well that’s how I feel. 


I realized it a few months ago when I was at a winery with friends. They were enjoying the wine, acoustic music, and over priced cheese “plate” that was more like a cheese-it. I couldn’t enjoy myself the way everyone else did. I faked a smile but left to my own imagination with nothing good to drink, all I could focus on was the owner of the winery laughing at us, his customers, for paying ridiculously high prices for the bologna of wine. It was that afternoon that I realized I peaked years ago. Many many years ago.


All the questions:

Is it simply that you move through different stages of life? 

Did Glenn Frey have it right in “Lyin’ Eyes” - did she get tired or did she just get lazy? 

Have you given in to societal norms and let yourself become a marginalized woman of a certain age? 

Does your inner fight turn to freeze or fawn?

Or did you fall off and start a totally new life as a hop or barley, instead of a grape? 


Suppose it’s simply the stages of life. When you first embrace that you are an adult making your own decisions, choosing furniture for YOUR house… do all the adult-ing milestones give you the confidence to become a perfectly aged wine? When conversations with college friends evolve into pros and cons of Roth and traditional IRAs. We no longer debate how much you need to spend on shoes that won’t hurt your feet. We don’t reminisce anymore about the house, secrets, and bathroom we all shared.


These stages in life change your body, notes, texture, acidity, elegance, and individuality. And instead of feeling like less, maybe we should think of ourselves as the expensive bottle we saved to share with the close friend on the perfect occasion. 



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